Story Contest 2017 #2 Results » Highly Commended Story - The Crushed Murder Mystery

Hanson (He) Xuan

“The Crushed Murder Mystery” by Hanson (He) Xuan, is the Highly Commended story in the junior category of the second biannual International Short Story Contest 2017 which was organized by Kids World Fun.

The Crushed Murder Mystery


“In year 2020, the world of games finally took a huge step forward. The famous inventor – Louis Lexan, invented a gaming device – GS Gear that takes the shape of the coolest or most beautiful face-covering helmet depending on your gender. When you put on the helmet, the GS Gear sends out micro-particles to your brain your brain’s commands are cut off from your body and transmitted to the character in the game instead. Then he programed the most awesome, most interesting, and most realistic game ever, AGO, stands for All Games Online. Its name is this because Louis combined all the best 3-D character games from 2015 such as World of Warcraft, GTAs, Warframe… with one anime – SAO (an anime that is about thousands of players that wears helmets like the GS Gear trapped in the game by the creator and dying will be forever and players must beat all levels to escape) ……”

Milsely mumbled heartfully to himself: “This introduction is surely long, but at least I’ve known something I’m going to play.”

He sat at his desk and held up the huge note to put on the door while he’s playing. Because in the introduction, it states ‘Players’ parents, sibling, and guardians must be careful while the player is still in the game. When the GS Gear is forcefully removed from the player’s head, it won’t be able to retrieve the micro-particles that are still in the player’s body and the player will end up being in a forever sleep.’

He walked to the door and putted the note on the door and took a step back and examined it. “Well, everyone can see this when they’re entering, I’m sure that I’ll be safe.”

So, he walked back to his room and putted to the helmet and went into “hibernation”.

Lucky I still remember the username and password of my GS Gear that I created online. Milsely thought and entered the password with his mind.

Then suddenly a flash of fire surrounded him and he screamed but realized that it wasn’t hot and he can hear himself like the real world. But soon he realized that everything is just like the real world except that it was more game-ish and it was like SAO’s anime world.

Suddenly, his vision blurred and he walked around uncontrollably and everything he’s seeing is a white flash. “What is happening?” Milsely cried and felt blackness closing in on his consciousness.

Then what’s left in the place that he’s standing is a hologram sign that says – DISCONNECTED.

Chapter 1

I was sitting on the chair of my workroom, wondering when my next mission will be. Then suddenly, my door banned open and my helper, Waterson Kelly walked in and said, “Just now, the first murder of the GS Gear happened. We need you to go to the scene, now.” Then, my heart jumped. This is the chance to prove myself that I am the best deceive in Airtimes. I slammed my pen on my desk, jumped up and said, “Let’s go then.”

When I arrived at the scene, the police were guarding all the entrances and exits and the yellow tape was stopping everything to come into the house. I showed them my detective batch and entered the house to investigate.

“So, Mrs. Anderson, main police officer, can you explain what happened to me?” I asked one of the police officers as I walked in the door.

“Yes, Mr. Lexana (Xavier Lexana is my name) so according to what we saw and what we heard from the house maid. Mr. Milesly didn’t just accidentally remove the GS Gear, there was heavy crush and grab marks on the side of the gear and that shows the GS Gear was forcefully removed and she heard Mr. Milesly scream also.” Mrs. Anderson replied as she led me to the room that Mr. Milesly died in.

As I was entering the door, I noticed that the lock is on the inside of the door, preventing anyone from entering and I notice that the police broke into room to open the door.

When I noticed Mr. Milesly’s body, it’s in a sorry state. His arms and legs are bent at an unusual position and his head was brushed and the whole mattress was stained with blood. But there wasn’t any blood on the GS Gear that was left on the table. Weird.

Then I noticed a thin trace of blood leading to outside of the window. I told Mrs. Anderson and we ran into the garden. When we arrived under Mr.Milesly’s window, there was a little blood stain on the grass below and “Seems like the criminal whipped his hands on the grass because there’s no more blood trails.” I said to Mr. Anderson. Then I noticed a tiny part of a death mask sticking out of Mrs. Anderson’s purse. That was strange.

I went back to the room to investigate even more. Then I saw that my helper – Waterson was already taking blood samples and the fractured skull of the body into his precious item box for later examination.

“Hey, Waterson, nice job.” I said after a while to watching him.

“Ahhhh! You scared the hell out me.” screamed Waterson, jumping back and knocking over the chair.

I rushed to stop the chair from falling and managed to hold on to the chair back to heave it back upright. But then I noticed that the chair was a lot heavier than a normal chair would be.

“Wow! That was a close one, and, that chair was a lot heavier than a normal chair. Help me take this chair apart, Waterson.” I chirped as I helped Waterson get up.

“Yes, sir!” He said using fake seriousness and saluted. So, we took the chair apart, one piece by one piece. Then we finally found the part that was super heavy, it was pillow that was attached the chair.

We opened the pillow and found, to our horror, a sledgehammer stained with blood. We both gasped and Waterson quickly putted the sledgehammer with the rest of the items in the item box.

Then we went to the investigation room to see what will happen.

Chapter 2

After several hours of investigating and digging through, we finally dug down through the complex “roots”.

We found out from the blood that Mr. Milesly have sleep problems, cancer, and mental health issues. But the main point that we’ve got is the sledgehammer, we examined it and found fingerprints that belong to the housemaid covering something else.

So, we went to the housemaid’s house and she let us in but refuses to talk about the murder. Then I decided to convince her with proof. “Mrs. Wills, we aren’t here to arrest you for the murder, we’re just here to prove your innocence.” I said nicely and hanging a smile on my face.

“Okay,” she said after a while, “but you can’t tell this to anyone. Promise me.”

“Okay, I promise.” I said and handed her a cup of tea, because I know there will be a story.

She took the tea and took a sip out of it then putted it on the table. “It was when I was seventeen, there was a huge billiard and my car broke down in Mr. Milesly’s village, I was standing in the snow and freaked out. Until he came, he ran out of one of the houses and invited me in. So, we sat in the sitting room, drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies. After the billiard stopped, he fixed my car and left me his phone number and his address.” She made a dramatic stop and I can see the warm memory shining in her eyes. “Then I started to visit him more often. Then I fell in love with him and things were good.” Then another pause, when she started speaking again, her voice was filled with anger and sadness. “Then one day, he just disappeared, he stopped answering my text and my call but also moved out of the village. So, after a few months, I forgot about him and started working for a maid company. Then he walked into my life again but told me to work as his house maid but I noticed that he’s different, so I started to work for him, hoping to fix his mental illness and cancer, but it didn’t work. He started to get sicker and sicker and angrier and angrier and always shout at me because he’s in a foul mood.” This time, she paused and turned away from us but I’m sure that there are tears rolling down her cheek. “Then one day when I was crying, a woman wearing a death mask came and said she will ease my pain but I thought that it was a dream. But after about thirteen days, he died.”

“Is that it, miss?” I asked.


“I guess that we know who the murderer is then. Right, Waterson?”

“You are right, sir.” Waterson replied, standing up with me and walked away.

Chapter 3

In the fallowing week, Waterson and I arrested Mrs. Anderson because the fingerprint on the head of the sledgehammer was hers and because of her crushing the GS Gear, her hand was cut with one of the tiny piece. We successfully solved another mystery!

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