Suffer of The Ride
“Suffer of The Ride” is one of the outstanding stories of the first biannual International Short Story Contest 2018 written by Aujanae Miles, F W Begley Public School, Canada.
Suffer of The Ride
I was in the back seat when it had happened. Listening to them bicker back and forth poisoned my heart, and my mind. The sound of the lighting crashing into the ground frightened me even more than I already was. The sound of my crying frustrated them which caused the screams to get louder. My mind raced so fast, I started to think, who would I go to if I loss them? I had nobody to turn to. At that moment, my anxiety started to kick in. My crying got louder and louder until it all ended.
As he turned to me, so did the wheel. The wheels slid on the thick, cursed ice and smashed right into the tree where we used to have family picnics. I and she would bake all his favorite snacks, so he could end his day positive, instead of coming home from work miserable.
The horrid sounds of her screaming in pain hurt me more than the stitches. I tried to run after her but I was too weak. Rolling over to my side I felt what no five-year old would ever think is even possible. The deep red blood slipping out of my fresh stitches shows what they have done. They've both caused me physical and mental pain. The nurse tried to hold me onto the hospital bed but by then I was already screaming in agony. It felt as if the glass from the shattered window were slicing the thread in half and back into my delicate skin. Then my eyes slowly closed.
As I woke up, I felt the depressed filled tears run down my wounded face. Looking up at the ceiling, I asked myself if anything was ever going to get better. At that point I didn’t care what happened to me, nothing will ever hurt as much as what I was going through.
Moments later, the door swung open. There were two men in nice black silky suits with a white collared shirt that looks like something you'd wear to a fancy wedding, and the nurse that held me down. ''We have some terrible news''. One of them said in a concerned voice while they both lowered their hats. ''Your father's injuries were just too serious for us to save him'' the nurse interrupted. I suddenly felt a moment of relief. That happened to be my kind of blessing.
That happened 11 years ago and I'm still doubtful it wasn’t my fault. Everyone tells me it wasn’t caused by me, but I stopped trusting people the last time he said he loved me.
Today wasn’t really what you would call ''a good day''. My mother had already left, so I had to walk to school. It was raining. On the way, a big truck with dents all over and filthy windows flew right passed me and right through a puddle. It reminded me of that night. How fast we were going in the rain. I was soaking wet. But there was no time to go all the way back home. I was already late into class, drenched from head to toe, everyone stared. They looked at me like I was some unknown species waiting to feed. I rushed to my desk hoping everyone's attention was off of me. ''Okay everyone turn to page seventy-eight''. Mr. Gates demanded with an annoyed tone to his voice.
I looked at the clock wondering if I was going to survive history class, but at that moment, I started to doze off. My eye lids got heavier by the second. Struggling to keep them open, it felt like holding a pound of makeup on my eyes like the rest of the girls at my school. I couldn’t keep them open for much longer, I fell asleep to the sound of text book pages flipping.
When I woke up, the classroom was completely empty. Even the lights were off. As I rubbed my eyes hoping for the blur to fade, I saw Bailey in the window. I rushed to open the door, and she walked in with clean clothes and a towel from the girls’ locker room. The outfit was a little big, but it was fine. Bailey and I walked to the cafeteria together with our backpacks over one shoulder and homework in our hands. Turning around the corner, the basketball team came storming through the halls knocking me over onto the floor.
I looked up, and saw Spencer Lynn. His light blue eyes shimmering in the lights gave me chills. The way his dimples pop while he smiles makes me red as a tomato. His long blonde silky hair flying in the wind makes me want to play with it myself. For once, I was feeling something other than empty. I don’t know how to explain this feeling. I felt butterflies inside until that stubborn brat Piper Lile came and pulled him away. Then that sad, lonely feeling repossessed my empty, cold heart.
Bailey put out her hand and helped me back on my feet. Piper looked back at me with a very strange look. “You okay?” Bailey asked. “Yea”. I replied. The lunch bell rang and it was time for math. I got there a little late but the teacher didn’t really seem to notice. I examined the class to see if I knew anyone until I saw Spencer. I hurried to the empty desk next to him and sat down. “You need a partner for the next assignment, so find a friend and tell me the groups afterwards”. The teacher announced. I quickly got up and walked over to Spencer just before Piper got to him. But before I could ask if he wanted to work together, Piper shouted “Spencer lets work together!” She looked to me and chuckled, “better luck next time". She was aware that how to make me feel less than the rest. Everyone else was already partnered up so I had to work alone.
Walking home from school, I heard a deep voice shout my name. I turned around and I saw Spencer running up to me. "Hey, sorry about Piper she could be really annoying sometimes, I'd be happy to work with you if you'd like''. He stated. "Sure, see you tomorrow". I said as we both waved goodbye.
When I got home, my mother was sitting on the worn out couch smoking a cigarette that looked like it was about to burn her fingers. I sped up to my room before she saw me, so I had some time alone. When I walked into my room, I took my coat and shoes off and placed them neatly next to my bedroom door, plopped all my homework onto my bed and put all my wet clothes in the washer.
I could hear her heavy footsteps on the creaky, old floors coming my way, so I got up and headed for my room. I almost made it, until I felt her rough, scratchy palms grab my sweaty wrist. "Where in god's name do you think you're going?'' she commanded. Her scratchy voice reminded me of the first time she started smoking. After the car accident she suffered from depression and smoking was the only way to solve it. It didn't exactly work, but it just made life harder for me. At the age of 13 she made me get a job because she was too weak to get one herself. She's been hard on me ever since. "Homework". I hesitated. "Not until the house is cleaned". She ordered. "I need to get my homework done or I can't graduate because I'm always late for class". I argued as I ripped her hand off my wrist.
At that moment I could already see the steam coming out of her ears. She tightened her grip, and dragged me down the stairs stomping her feet as loud as possible. "You're not doing anything until this house is spotless!" She said while she stormed away. "This is why you and dad fought". I cried. She stopped and just stood there. No talking. No crying. She was still.
She looked over her shoulder to look at me, but she stopped herself and walked out the front door. I followed her out and watched her march right over to the tree. As always, the tree ended my grief. She laid there and just fell asleep. I didn’t know what to do so I just went home. I knew I've done enough so I let her be.
When I got home, I did my homework and had a nap. I wasn’t in the mood for doing anything so I thought sleeping would be a good way to waste time.
In the morning her car was still in the driveway but she was nowhere to be found. Another blessing. I washed my face, put my clothes on, packed my things, slipped my coat and boots on, and started for school.
As I got closer and closer to the tree I realized that she wasn’t there. I tried not to worry but my anxiety was starting to take over my mind. I started to tell myself that she just left to go home.
I began to walk faster to school to see if I could catch Bailey walking before the first period. The bell rang while I was just a block or two away from the school so I ran. As I got closer to school, I ran faster and faster not paying any attention to my surroundings. I kept running. Until I hear a loud horn. I stopped and looked over to my right and saw a car coming straight to me. Then, the memory popped back in my head. The same exact feelings I felt on that very date came back to me.
The car got closer by the second but I couldn't move. It felt as if my soul were stuck in my head replaying everything that had happened that night. Until suddenly I fell over and heard the horn again.
Opening my eyes I saw what I had done. It was me this time. I saw the car covered in blood and a woman at the wheels. I crawled over to the bumper and saw her. She was trying to protect me even when I ignored her desolation. The horrid sounds of her screaming in pain hurt more than the shove. I tried to run after her, but I was too weak.
Her funeral wasn't very fancy, but it was still special. All these years I thought my depression came from her, but now I realized something important, something I should've figured out a long time ago. She was the one that needed more healing. She lost her husband in a car accident and was left alone to raise a little girl who needed help all by herself. I've been putting pressure on her at the worse times possible, and thought I've been through the most pain without paying any attention to her feelings. I should've been in the present instead of hanging onto the past. I'm still begging for forgiveness, and I always will. Now, I really had nobody to turn to.
It’s been a few months since I've been to school. I'm seventeen now and living all alone in the same house I grew up in with my parents. I think I've been doing okay here by myself, but it'll never be like it used to be, everything has changed and I need to learn to accept it.