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Good Touch and Bad Touch

Good Touch and Bad Touch

When we feel safe, loved, and cared for through a touch, it is called a safe touch. For example, when our parents, grandparents, and siblings hug or kiss us, we feel loved and safe. In fact, we are comfortable with them touching us and we feel safe in their presence. Hugging, kissing, and giving flying kisses to our parents is totally fine and normal. A good touch feels pleasant and good, it is a way to show care, love and help. For instance, when mommy hugs you or papa gives you a goodnight kiss or your grandparents hold you in their arms and you hold your friend’s hands while playing. All this makes us feel happy.

We meet many people every day. Some of them might be unknown to us. We should be careful about the way people touch us. Nobody whom we didn’t know should be allowed to touch or tickle our private parts. Our private parts are all those parts which are covered when we wear a swimsuit. So, our genitals, buttocks, and chest are private to us and we call them private parts.

Strangers may also include our relatives, aunty, uncle, or any neighbour or even our teacher. These people should not be allowed to hug or kiss us. We should immediately say ‘No’ to these people. We must remember that no one can or should touch us in a way that makes us feel scared or uncomfortable. Our body belongs only to us and we have the right to decide who we want near us and who we don’t. There is nothing wrong in this. A pat on the head, or a handshake is okay. When the doctor or the nurse touches us to check us when we are feeling sick, it is okay. But touching other parts of our body is not okay.

If a touch makes us feel uncomfortable, uneasy, and scared, it is an unsafe touch. Some unknown people may touch you forcefully on your chest, lips, or your private parts and ask you not to tell anyone about it. Run away from such people at once. Do not be afraid at all. Follow the “yell, run, and tell” rule.

Yell means to shout. Shout immediately when such a thing happens to you. This will attract other people’s attention and they can come to help you at once. Run means to run away. Don’t keep standing there in shock or surprise waiting for someone to come and help you. Also, try not being alone with that person in the future. Often this bad touch happens at places where there is no one or where no one can see it happening. Tell means to tell our parents or someone with whom we feel safe, about what happened. This is very important because your parents and elders will be able to report this matter and help you at once. Don’t get afraid or scared. Our parents love us and will help us in this matter as well. They will not scold or punish us or think that we are telling lies. We can trust them and share everything with them. Our parents will do anything to keep us safe and it is their duty to keep us safe.

Finally, we must remember that it is not our fault. It is the other person’s fault. We have not done anything wrong so we don’t need to be scared. Also, remember that just because that person is older than us, it doesn’t mean that we surely need to respect that person even after he or she is doing something wrong. We need to shout and act immediately if we are uncomfortable in any situation.

We should never trust a stranger and share our address or other personal details with him/her. They can use these details against you and find out your personal information such as where we live, which school we go to, what time we come home from school and similar details about us and our family. We should also not accept anything or eat or drink from a stranger or from anyone whom we don’t know properly especially if we are alone. The food or drink they offer might contain some harmful substances that might be dangerous for us.

It is important for us to alert when someone is near us and to identify if their touch is good or bad for us. We must always remember to respect others’ bodies and our bodies as well.