As you embark on the most benevolent adventure a person, or couple, can take, it is important to know a few things that can define the experience of adoption. These tips will help you to instill confidence in all age groups of adopted children, from baby to teen.
Whatever your motivation might be, you have decided to give a child in need a warm and loving home, and you should be commended for making that choice. To thrive, children of all ages need love, support, guidance, and structure. And these you bestow on your new family member are paramount to helping them grow and evolve with confidence.
That does not mean they will be immediately receptive. And that is ok. Sometimes, things like love and trust, while given freely, must be earned from a kid who might have had to endure some hardships. The important part is that you put good energy into the new family dynamic. They will reciprocate when the time is right.
There are many schools of thought on how to build confidence in kids. Adopted kids are very much the same. They just sometimes need more time to allow these ideas to blossom. Be patient. And never stop loving them. No matter what.
This may seem cliché, but for kids, it is paramount. The knowledge that even when they make a mistake, you are there with a Band-Aid or a hug, is the most crucial way to build their self-confidence and their ability to establish lasting friendships and relationships. Show them a life of love with keepsakes, like photos of your lives together, or if you received them as an infant, make a baby memory book.
One of the main goals is not only to teach your child to learn about the world, but also to teach them to be kind, confident and, yes, more independent. Not in the sense of driving to school independently. But choosing their own clothes or getting a snack is already independent.
But it’s not easy to teach kids these concepts, so why not incorporate learning into the activities they already love to do? Believe it or not, there are many easy ways to help develop these important skills and encourage their growth at home or school while they play with toys or games like Robot Turtles (Dragon Shrine).
An excellent path toward building confidence in kids and establish a lasting bond of trust is to praise their accomplishments. Let them know they did well when they do well, and if they need help, lift them up so they can do better next time. The goal is to give them the tools to be confident, productive members of society while keeping your interests centered around your relationship with them and their potential.
Goals, even small ones, can boost confidence and give kids a swell of pride that will make them want to succeed. Small goals, like getting a good grade or finishing a personal project, can be the building blocks for much grander pursuits. Be there to celebrate their victories. Everyone needs a cheering section.
If you show a lack of confidence in yourself as an adult, they will model it as being acceptable, and that rabbit hole is deep. Keep the less-endearing chatter to yourself. If your kid starts to talk about themselves with a negative perspective, address it. Offer guidance, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. You are their best sounding board. Your support will help build their confidence in trusting you.
With children, learning how to fail is just as important as learning how to succeed. Teach them that it is ok not to be the best all the time. Let them know that even if they fall, you will be there to pick them up, dust them off, and cheer on their next attempt.
Independence is a new trait learned by a lot of adopted kids. It is a good idea to give them room to grow and learn things on their own, but always be available to help, not to take over. Confidence grows through experiences.
Pick a few confidence-building activities for kids. We all have ideas of what we are interested in, but sometimes it just does not work the same way as it did in our heads. Having a few back-up options are always good to have on deck, only in case, but it is never wise to suggest quitting.
We all have a passion that drives us out of pure love and joy of how it makes us feel. Kids feel their emotions more deeply, even if they sometimes hop from one to another. Let them feel the rush and feel it with them. Be engaged, be interested, and let them know you care about what they care about. And in turn, they will have confidence in their pursuit.
House rules are essential, and to maintain boundaries, they must remain steadfast. If you wish to let an infraction off with a warning, keep the warnings to a minimum. Kids like to push the envelope just to see where the line is. Enforce house rules with consequences but explain why their action was not acceptable.
Love, trust, family, comradery, values. All of these, and many more, are important to instill in a child because they will be with them for the rest of their lives. Show them, do not just tell them, what a solid connection to another person looks like.
If you are wondering how to build confidence in an adopted child, then you are on the right path. Learning is always better than winging it. All kids need the fundamentals of a stable home: Love, understanding, personal space, trust, and the tools to thrive as a member of the family, as well as an individual. Do you have any other useful tips for instilling confidence in adopted children?
Author’s Bio: Thomas Glare is a freelance author, but more importantly, what he is truly committed to is his family. In his articles, he shares his own experiences and writes about parenthood. His point of view is not like the others because humor is his method of solving any problem. He helps people facing family problems to solve them, while remaining a loving parent.
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