How To Teach Children Self-Control

As school time begins, children fall into extreme stress – teachers, learning courses, classmates, etc. It is vital for parents not to miss the period of their development and teach them the basics of self-control and direct their energy in the right flow that will be useful for them.

Although, there is no correct strategy of what steps parents should take, what words to say to understand their children and help them find their places in life.

Self-discipline is an important characteristic that usually helps people to reach their goals and desires throughout their lifetime.

Nevertheless, there are some common pieces of advice that can help to teach children of self-control by showing its value and making them interested in it.

Due to the academic writing services reviews related to children’s self-control, the famous American psychologist David McClelland claims that children with low-level of self-control show much lower results in the studying process that have negative consequences for these children in the future  – at university, job, and private life.

Create a timetable

Make sure that your kid or children are provided with a precise timetable so that they know how they should spend their free time. Of course, it is vital not to create too many strict conditions for them as all you are going to get back is resistance. Children should understand how education influences their future and how it is vital to get knowledge from an early age. Then, they need to have spare time for their hobbies, the internet, TV, or any other activities that do not harm their mental and physical health. It would be great if their hobbies could be connected to physical activities or something that enables the development of their personality.

Explain everything

Commonly, children do not tend to follow the rules, especially those that are set by their parents. It mostly happens because they do not clearly understand the importance of self-discipline and how it will help them when they grow up. They do not have to be forced to live under your rules, they need to be willing to follow rules and understand their reasons and benefits. Accurate explanations of the particular ranges of regulations aim to teach them to make the right decisions in their future so that each of them could understand the real consequences of their words and actions.

Long-term process

This tip is mostly for parents. Remember – no hurries in the process of self-control teaching. A kid cannot learn everything for the period of one week, month, or even year. It is important to support kids in their beginnings and willingness to change. Parents also can create a map or chart of their achievements to encourage their children to continue their development and reach more and more goals of different complexity.


As we have already mentioned, support is key. For sure, you are not able to name a person who doesn’t like praise and endorsement, especially from their parents. Even a tiny achievement is worth being praised and recognized. Commonly, it encourages children to keep working on their personal and professional skills. In another case, your kids will have no motivation to control themselves and follow your rules. However, praise is sometimes not enough. Parents should think of a certain reward program for their kids not only from the moral side but also from the material.

Meet the challenges

Prepare your kids that not everything comes easy in life and everything you got used to can be changed right away. Exactly self-control helps people to conquer any difficulties during their lives and to exit such challenging situations with their heads held high. You cannot be 100% ready for things that happen in your life and the attitude to these things is everything.

Comforting practices for children

Besides the useful tips for parents on how to teach their kids self-control and show them the values of this characteristic, there are also diverse techniques that help people to cope with their feelings and calm themselves down in the most challenging situations.

The variety is really huge and a kid personally can pick the most suitable and nice practice. Among the popular calming strategies we would like to highlight the following:

  • Breathing techniques – you may have heard about the breathing exercises especially during the meditations, it is proved that deep breathing helps to calm people down as quickly as possible and therefore better control the emotions and change the ways of their expression to society;
  • Meditations – this is not a one-day process to make meditations work, children need to do it on a regular basis – every morning or every evening to comfort their minds and relax after a hard day at school, etc.
  • Distraction – in critical situations, it is important to make the kid understand that he or she can slow down, stop doing what they are doing at the moment and distract; it can be surfing the web, taking a nap, going for a walk, singing or listening to music, anything that will help to relieve stress for a while;
  • Writing down the thoughts – personal diaries help to view themselves from the outside, assess their actions, and think if they are good or bad for them. But parents – if you want to save good relationships with your kids, never allow yourself to read their diaries.

Consider the personality

Taking into account different practices and pieces of advice on how to teach children of self-control, the core thing which is vital to remember is that each kid requires an individual attitude in everything – education, hobbies, raising, and so on. Moreover, parents should not compare their children to their friends or classmates and not let them down as children tend to take all words and actions to their hearts that sometimes can have tragic consequences.

Children need to feel that home is the place where they can be themselves, relax, get support or get a useful tip so that in the future they could make important decisions independently and in their favor.

Related reading: Kids And Manipulative Behavior

Author Bio: Frank Hamilton is a blogger and translator from Manchester. He is a professional writing expert in such topics as blogging, digital marketing and self-education. He also loves traveling and speaks Spanish, French, German and English.


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