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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 7

Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
A: Because it was framed.

Q: Name a profession where the worker earns a living by driving their customers away?
A: Taxi drivers.

Q: What did the first pencil say to the second pencil?
A: You are looking sharp.

Q: Which insect runs away from basically everything?
A: The Flee.

Q: What do you normally call a baby monkey?
A: A “chimp” off the old block.

Q: Who can marry many wives and yet be single?
A: A minster.

Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
A: That he was too young to smoke.

Q: Which piece of wood lives like a king?
A: The ruler.

Q: Why do firefighters wear red and not blue suspenders?
A: Obviously, to keep their pants up.

Q: What did the muffler tell the car owner?
A: I am exhausted.

Q: Why do we have to buy clothes?
A: Because they are not available, free.

Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: It appears that you have a hole in one.

Q: What will you get if you put your hand in a pot?
A: A potted palm, of course.

Q: Where do they send crying children to?
A: To the ballpark, (bawl park).

Q: What has fifty tails and an equal number of heads?
A: Easy, fifty coins [pennies]

Q: How can anyone tell whether they are cross-eyed?
A: When they can see eye-to-eye with themselves.

Q: How did the blind carpenter work?
A: He just picked up his hammer and “saw.”

Q: What happened to the dog that ate the firefly?
A: It barked with “de-light.”

Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: Because, they eat whatever that bugs them.

Q: What is a belt with a watch on it called?
A: A waist of time.

Q: What happens when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: You get frostbite.

Q: Which season do trampolines come out?
A: The “spring” time.

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