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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 3

Q: What happens when you cross a pie with a snake?
A: A pie-thon [python]

Q: Which lottery did the broom win?
A: The sweepstakes!

Q: What sound do the porcupines make when they kiss each other?
A: Ouch!

Q: Why are identical twins like a broken alarm clock?
A: Because they are dead ringers!

Q: What is a well-dressed lion called?
A: A dandy-lion [dandelion]

Q: Which animals are found on legal documents?
A: Seals.

Q: Which fish swims only at night?
A: The starfish.

Q: Name the ideal cure for dandruff?
A: Simple – baldness.

Q: Differentiate between a banana and a bell?
A: You can peel a banana only once.

Q: Why do people say that whales are the biggest gossipers?
A: Mainly because they are always spouting off.

Q: What do you get when a hen lays an egg on the roof?
A: You get an eggroll.

Q: Name a ten-letter word that starts with gas?
A: The automobile.

Q: What does America produce that no other country produces?
A: Simple – Americans.

Q: How do bees go to school?
A: By the school buzz.

Q: Spot the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
A: While one knows the stops, the other stops the nose.

Q: What is an “illigator”?
A: A sick crocodile.

Q: How do you differentiate between a can of tomato soup and a can of chicken soup?
A: Just read the label.

Q: If the apple can keep the doctor away, what does the onion do?
A: Keep everybody away.

Q: Where do they take squirrels when they go mad?
A: The nut house.

Q: When was medicine discovered in the Bible?
A: When Moses received the Tablets.

Q: What happened to the dog after he swallowed the clock?
A: He got many ticks that just would not stop.

Q: Which is the healthiest water?
A: Well water, obviously.

Q: What people are similar to the end of a book?
A: The Finnish.

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