Jokes » Holiday Jokes for Kids

Whether it is Independence Day, St. Patrick’s Day or Memorial Day, this website has all the holiday jokes that fit the occasion. For additional fun as you spend the holidays with your loved ones, then make sure to include these funny holiday jokes in your get-togethers.

We regularly add and update with new jokes. Find it from the list and use it to write a holiday letter or message to send to your friends and colleagues. Happy Holidays!

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Grey Hair

Mona has a beautiful and naughty daughter called Sona. She is very naughty and mischievous. One day, the little Sona with great curiosity asked her mom, ‘Mamma why your hair is turning grey? I don’t like it.’

Mona decided to teach her child about good behaviour and replied, ‘Dear, my hair is turning grey only because of you. Whenever you do any bad action, one of my hairs will turn grey.’

Sona was thinking for a while in silent and laughed loudly. Mom asked, what happened?

Sona replied, ‘Momma now I understand why grandma’s hair is completely grey!’

Missing Baggage

Rosy just get off the flight and reached the baggage area to collect her luggage. She was a month’s tour to Europe and just returned home. She was very tensed as she could not find her luggage, where she had all the things shopped in the Europe. The tensed Rosy approached the baggage in-charge and informed that she arrived from France and she could not find her baggage in the carousel. The in-charge smiled and ask Rosy to stay calm. She informed Rosy that they were professionals with expert training and they would find her luggage and hand over it to her.

Rosy was relaxed. The officer in-charge asked her about the color, number of bags, brand etc. Rosy replied.

Finally, the officer in-charge asked her ‘Has your flight arrived?’ Rosy Fainted.

Which song Tarzan like to sing on the Christmas day?
Jungle Bells Jungle Bells!

Turkey is not feeling hungry on the Thanksgiving Day, why?
Because it is already stuffed!

Why did the Christmas tree go to the barbershop before the Christmas eve?
Because it want to get trimmed before the eve!

Why did Joy put her girlfriend in jail on Valentine’s Day?
Because she had stolen his heart!

The telephone decided to propose his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, how?
He just gave her a ‘ring’!

What do cows say on Christmas morning?
Mooooey Christmas to all!

What did Frankenstein said to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
“Will you be my ‘valenstein’?”

When you cross a Christmas tree with an apple, you will get?
A pineapple!

A man shoplifted a calendar on Christmas Eve. What did he get?
He got all the 12 months!

How Thanksgiving Day differs from April Fool’s Day?
One is the day of ‘thanks’ and another is the day of ‘pranks’

What is the thing that often falls at the North Pole region, but it will never get hurt?
It’s, Snow!

Which is the key that has legs and can never be used to open a door?
It’s a Turkey!

What is the best thing which you can put into a Christmas cake?
Your teeth!

Johnny asked Jacob for a cigarette. Jacob Says, “I heard that you have made a New Year resolution to quit smoking habit”. Then Johnny replied, “Yes I have decided to quit this habit and I am in the process of quitting, right now I am in the second phase”. Then Jacob asked, “oh really, so what was the first phase?”
Johnny simply says “I have just quit buying cigarettes”!!

How to wish a bachelor on a Valentine’s Day?
Just tell him ‘happy Independence day’!

Why does the calendar seem so happy on a Valentine’s Day?
Because he had a ‘date’!

What did the bat said to his girlfriend on the Valentine’s Day?
Dear, it is very fun to hang around with you!

What type of Christmas candle burns longer, a green candle or a red candle?
Neither, because candles always burn shorter!

Jennifer was taking an afternoon sleep on New Year’s Eve prior to celebrations. When she woke up, she said George, her husband, that “dear, I dreamt that you have gifted me a diamond ring as a New year present. What does it all means?”
George simply smiled and answered “wait dear, you will come to know tonight”.
At midnight, when the New Year was chiming, George gifted her with a small package. Jennifer excitedly opened the package quickly and she found a book named “Dreams and the meaning of dreams”!!

Snelly to Simon: “sorry, I cannot be your valentine for health reasons”
Simon: “oh really, what happened?”
Snelly: “yeah, because you have made me sick”!

What did the Valentine’s Day card said secretly to the stamp?
Stick with me always and we will go places!

What did one snake said to another snake on Valentine’s Day?
Dear, give me a sweet hug and ‘hiss’!

Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
Because they've just finished a long March!

What's the difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool's Day?
On one you're thankful and on the other you're prankful!

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth!

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when "!

Dad: "Most people don't have to work today, because it's Labour Day."
Son: "If they're not working, shouldn't it be `No-Labour Day?"

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.

What is the Easter Bunny's favourite kind of story?
A cotton tale!

How can you tell that you're getting old?
You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

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