Usually parents are expected to set an example for children of how to be patient, and never get angry on petty issues. However, parenting takes such a huge toll on emotions that parents tend to forget who is responsible for setting an example. Parents often believe that controlling the actions of kids will eventually bring down their anger. How impossible that is! Remember, you are dealing with kids. Therefore, Parents must understand a simple fact that if anybody has to be controlled it has to be them, their actions and their temper. Kids will never stop being kids.
It is rightly said that children learn from their parents. Therefore, if you as a parent give way to your anger in front of your kids, it is highly possible that one day your kids will pick up this habit and vent out their anger on you. Instead, as smart parents, you must calm yourself down, try being patient and let your children know who the master is. Chances are they will understand your silence and change their own actions and behavior.
For example, if your child always cries, acts stubborn, doesn’t let go easily and talks back to you in a rude manner, it is absolutely obvious that you will tend to get frustrated, annoyed, disappointed and above all angry. However, despite your kid not following your expectations and advises, it is better to not push him any further. If he happens to not listen to you, control your anger and let him make his mistakes. In this way, your kid will fall, be hurt, be laughed upon, or even pitied, but he will learn his lessons from his mistakes. The next time you try telling him to do the right thing he will probably remember the incident and give in. Non-reaction is the best reaction you could give to get your kid for him to learn how to follow instructions or an advice.
When your child notices that you no more get angry over his actions no matter how much he tries to provoke you with his nasty behavior, he will realize that there is no point in behaving in an ill manner because that is not going to work. You and your child will realize how much soothing it will be for both your minds to not let anger ruin the parent-child rapport.
No matter how much you try, you still tend to sometimes let anger and anxiety get the best of your parental behavior. Therefore, there are certain rules, tips, and pointers to give a kick-start at managing your anger effectively and helping you to build a better relationship with your child while teaching him the better and the worst. Try to follow the below ways to control your anger in a better way.
The important part of being able to control your anger is to never forget that you have to stay calm. No matter how much of triggering actions and behavior your child displays, it is imperative to constantly remind yourself that you need to remain calm, cool down any anxiety forming up in your mind.
Once you have made a commitment to yourself of not losing your cool and temper, it is mandatory that you strongly focus on it and take all measures to ensure you manage your anger effectively.
Realize and understand your responsibilities towards your child. You have to raise him, make a responsible and calm individual, and for this you need to show him how to be one. Set an example for your child. Be what you want him/her to be. Make sure you do not hurt your kids by letting your anger to get the best of you.
Analyze the reason of your anger and once you what action or behavior of your kid triggers you the most; be aware of its arrival. Keep a tab on your mental calm when your child does things to aggravate your anger. Take necessary precautions and be prepared to let go of your anxiety.
Sometimes all it takes is the development of a bond between you and your child. Once he/she knows what troubles you or what makes you feel good, there are high chances of a change to take place in the kid’s behavior. Go out for movies, picnics, park, or even take a stroll on the road.
Mediation is the best and the most effective way of keeping your mind calm and soothing. It teaches your brain to manage all ill thoughts, throw away negativity, and welcome positivity. Taking deep breaths while meditating will bring a level of peace and calmness to your anger or anxiety.
Write down sticky notes or big posters on your wall with various calm, peace and silence quotes to constantly keep you reminding of how to manage your anger and not let it out on your child. This activity can also help your children learn something on their own.
Picture yourself 10 to 15 years from now, on how your relation with your child will be. It is highly possible that you will end up in a rigid and broken relationship with your kid due to your anger. Spoken words and actions taken in anger can never be reversed. Therefore, just to build a strong and friendly bond with your child, and to have a lovely future, you must learn to control your anger.
It is a blessing to become a parent, but it is even a bigger blessing and responsibility to raise a child in the right manner. You would want your children to be good humans and stand proud to be called their parents. For this, it is necessary for you to manage and control your anger attacks.
Image courtesy: popsugar_com
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