Social situations and conversing with other people can be an arduous task for some people, especially introverts, who prefer their own company to that of others. However, some situations call for a certain degree of competence in social relations, for example, in one’s job environment or socializing with one’s extended family. There are guidelines that an introvert can follow, so that there is no need to hide when there are visitors in the house!
To people who aren’t naturally good at conversation, taking huge steps such as attending major functions, going to parties and get-togethers and hanging out with groups of people, may feel claustrophobic, causing one to withdraw into his own shell. This is why baby steps are important. Start off with talking to people you meet every day, but never have talked to. You could begin by just smiling at them, and asking ‘how do you do’. For many people, this is enough as a conversation starter.
Nowadays, there are clubs or groups for nearly everything. From book-clubs to gardening get-togethers, there is a variety of options to choose from. If you already have a hobby that you wish to experience with others, try to find people with similar interests on Facebook or other social media platforms. You could also learn a new hobby by going to lessons for it. For example, picking up learning the guitar or cultivating an interest in art and literature or learning to paint can introduce you to a lot of new people and if you get serious about it, even open new doors for you.
If you work in a corporate business and attend meetings often, chances are that you’ve stumbled upon quite a few moments when you thought up of something you thought could be beneficial to the company but kept quiet. Such instances are causes of frustration, as well as negative reinforcements to such behaviour. They push you back into your shell. This also may happen to students who know how to answer their teachers but are far too afraid to. One thing to realize is that it’s okay to slip up sometimes. Sometimes it’s ok to say something that sounds dumb or cringe-worthy. Along with that, people often forget easily, as they have their own lives and own troubles. So the next time you have something to say, just remember that whatever you say, nobody is going to judge you too harshly for it.
Sometimes you’re stuck in a situation where you want to talk to someone but aren’t sure on how to initiate the conversation. Going up to them and complimenting them on their features or what they are wearing is a very pleasant way to strike up a conversation with them. Just make sure that what you say is genuinely felt. Artificiality is something people do not forgive.
Most socially awkward people can manage their lives in some way, but some fall prey to extreme nervousness and anxiety in any social situation. Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia disrupts everyday life the individual because of the significant anxiety, embarrassment and self-consciousness caused by a fear of being scrutinized or judged by others. This leads to avoidance behaviour. If lack of social skills is a result of social anxiety disorder or any other psychological block that completely inhibits your ability to socialize whatsoever, it might be time to seek a doctor’s advice.
A powerful way to manage difficult situations is to imagine managing them beforehand. For example, if you have a desire to talk to a particular person in a particular setting, visualize the setting and the person. Visualize how you will approach the person and how you will start the conversation. Rehearse the whole scenario many times if needed before you actually do it. This is a very effective way of managing socially awkward situations.
One thing to remember is that being shy or introverted is not a problem. Also, no one expects anyone to talk a lot. In fact rambling on and on is not a good strategy to adopt if one wants to fit in in any social situation. All you have to do is to be interested in what is happening, what other people are saying, and listening to them. Listening is more important than talking, and it is a blessing that comes easily to introverts.
Social awkwardness is nothing to be ashamed of. You are good to go with these seven golden strategies.
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