Parents must be willing to let go of their past, and whom they think they are so that their children can develop their individual ego.
It is obvious that the memories of the past will stay with us and continue to haunt us. Letting go of the past is to release these images, fears, disappointments, attachments, and emotions that bind our spirit.
In other words, it’s only when we let go of who we think we are, only then we can become what we want to be. As long as you are aware that your sufferings are not yours, and that you are not your identity or story, it’s perfectly okay not to know where you are going.
Unfortunately, our entire perception of the self is a mental build up and it does not speak up of whom we are. The image of the self is created to preserve your position within the word and indicates whom you represent. In other words, the “self” views the self from the shame perspective. However, shame loves secrecy and hates when we reach out and tell our story. It despises having words wrapped around it. Shame cannot survive being shared and cherishes mystery. When we bury or cover up our story, the shame metastasizes to permeate us emotionally, physically, and socially.
Perfectionism is not similar to always striving to be the best. We believe that if we tend to live flawless, look immaculate and act impeccably, we will able to minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It is more of a huge protective shield that we tend to lug around thinking it will prevent us from flight.
We have to be extremely careful against relating to equivalent labels, since it restrains a person’s development as a profound or spiritual being. Parents tend to build walls around their children. We tend to limit their freedom. It is similar to a baby elephant fastened to a pole in the ground. As the elephant develops, it remains unaware of it full potential because of being constrained at such a young age. Therefore, it develops having accepted its limitations.
The new social conviction or cultural belief that everything ought to be fun, quick, and simple is conflicting with hopeful thinking. Additionally, it also sets us up for misery. When we experience something that is troublesome and needs vital time and energy, we tend to think, this is supposed to be simple, it is demanding only because, I am bad at it. This is where confident self-talk is required. This may be demanding and tough, BUT I CAN DO IT!
Being authentic is the daily routine of letting go, or relinquishing, the thought of who we think we are and accepting who we really are. Being authentic or genuine means having the courage to be imperfect and allowing ourselves to be defenseless and vulnerable. Being genuine requires wholehearted living and loving – even if we are grappling with shame and disgrace of not being adequate. Being genuine means to experience intense happiness even if we are afraid or reluctant to let ourselves feel it. If we start becoming genuine or real, then we start welcoming beauty, happiness, and thankfulness into our lives.
Shame, accusations, lack of respect, disloyalty, and the withholding of affection harm the roots from which love develops. Love can survive these wounds in the event that they are recognized, recuperated, and rare.
Genuineness may be an assortment of decisions that we’ve to create daily. It’s regarding the decision to show up and be real. The selection to be honest and allow our true selves be seen.
We cannot be discriminating in numbing our emotions. Because, if we tend to numb the painful emotions, we also tend to inherently numb the positive emotions.
One of the greatest obstructions to connect is the social significance we put on doing it alone. Somewhere down the line, we have tend to equate success with not requiring anyone. A significant number of us are willing to provide assistance, however we are terribly reluctant to connect for help when we require it for ourselves. It is as though we have partitioned the world into “the individuals who offer assistance” and “the individuals who need assistance.” The fact of the matter is that we are both.
If we have a purpose, when overcoming adversity or surviving a trauma, or handling stress, it permits us to develop an understanding to move forward. Without any meaning or perspective, it becomes easy to lose hope, start numbing our emotions, or become overcome by our circumstances. We feel diminished, less capable, and totally lost within the face of any struggle.
Parents MUST remember that the center of spirituality is connection. When we tend to believe in that connection, we don’t feel alone.
If we reach a point when everything falls apart, consider it as a chance to search within and find a way to assemble it back again.
We nurture love after we permit ourselves to become vulnerable and recognized. The next step is when we respect the spiritual connection that develops from that offering with mutual trust, appreciation, compassion, and warmth.
To love someone deeply does not come with any guarantees. There is often vulnerability accompanied by pain. However, when you learn to live with that vulnerability, it teaches us to live with happiness, appreciation, and grace.
Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we cultivate and nurture. It is a connection that must be developed between two individuals, when it exists between them.
Finally, our ability to relinquish the individual we used to be makes a space for the individual we have been all along – the complete, wholeness of the unceasing self.
It’s only when you let go of who you are, and be trying to become everything to everyone, you will have more time, love, and connection to your kids and family.
In other words, you have a chance to find who you can become.