How to stop bullying? There is a common perception about bullies that they act as a threat to others in order to cover up their own fears. Although, this might be a fact, it is highly unacceptable that bullies be treated as victims of their fear, feel sorry for them and not hold them responsible for threatening innocent defenseless people.
Bullies have an insecurity within themselves, they are afraid of being hurt, of not being powerful and strong. So they bully people around, hurt them, threaten them in order to feel the power of intimidating someone. Bullies feed on the satisfaction they get from hurting others or threatening others. Their behaviour is a result of bullies being neglected or looked down on at some point of time. Hence, they want to necessarily make others feel the same way.
There are several cases where even kids tend to bully fellow mates at school or in colleges or even siblings at home. It has become a stereotype that only boys can be bullies but it is noticed in recent research that girls tend to bully as much as the boys do. Kids threaten others kids to gain power over them. They intimidate them and get work done or cover up for something done by bullies. Bullying is also a very dangerous crime, where many have lost their lives.
There are several reasons why people or kids end up as bullies. Tensions at home, negligence, stress caused due to inability to excel at certain tasks, etc. Bullies feel threatened from inside and hence they want others to feel intimidated too. There is a name for the disorder people who end up as bullies are going through; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Due to this disorder the victims experience immense pain inside them, which they think, cannot be shared, so they end up suppressing it. They live in fear of being exploited and hurt. They require protection and if they do not get it from someone outside, they tend to protect themselves by bullying and hurting others so that nobody hurts them.
There are several symptoms to lookout for in person with PTSD; constant anxiety, constant fear, idiosyncratic behaviour, stress and uncontrollable anger. If these symptoms and the disorder is not taken care of, it will lead to a destruction of a soul allowing him to threaten and hurt everybody around him or her.
It is essential to deal and take care of bullies. They need to be held responsible and they need to be made to realize the critical consequences of their abusive, hurtful, disrespectful and threatening behaviour. Bullies must be taught to practice social skills, the task of articulating their feelings, feel powerful in an appropriate way, communicating on a normal basis with others, trying to solve their personal problems, and how to feel others’ as well as their pain. They need to be taught the boundaries and give them a roadmap for getting things done.
What to do if your child is a bully?
Parents rarely know about what their children do in their absence. Hence, if your kid happens to be a bully at school, playgrounds and classes, then it is highly possible that he will behave absolutely good and decent in front of you but when you are not around, he will bully other kids. If by some chance, you happen to find out or get complaints and know of his bullying activity, you need to acknowledge it. You have to also accept that you kid displays bad behaviour and to ensure that he comes back to the right track. If bullying is not stopped at adolescence, it will lead to them becoming more aggressive and dangerous bullies when they grow up.
Talk to your child, find out the reason for his threatening behaviour and understand why he bullies other kids around him. Once you have known the actual reason for his bullying behaviour, try communicating with him making him understand and helping him to recognize the difference between right and wrong. Be his friend, solve his emotional issues and encourage him to overcome his fears if any. As a parent, you also need to be a little strict, while being polite. Lay certain ground rules and principles, which he must follow and respect.
If your child is a bully, it is better to stop him or her at a young age, because after 10 years down the line, when they grow into an adult, it would be nearly impossible to correct or change them. Stubbornness will rule their attitude and you will merely be a force trying to stopping them from feeling the power.
What to do if your child is bullied?
The children who are victims of bullying are equally bruised and feared from inside as the ones who bully. Bullies usually look for targets that are soft, easy and weak-willed. Therefore, if your child is facing some kind of bullying at school, then as a parent you must try to stop it from ruining your child’s life. Children require strength and support to stand for them; they need to know they have someone to watch their back. So give your kid that reassurance and teach him to fight back bullies or not fall prey to bullying.
Other kids will bully your kids if he is weak and scared of others. So teach him not ignore such situations and stay strong. You must also teach your child to avoid such bullies wherever necessary. If you do not help your child face bullies at school, your child is going to be in constant stress and fear. He will be scared from within and will never stand up for his rights. Would you want your child to grow into a spineless man and sulk inside silently? If not, then face the fact and make him stronger.
Whether your child is a bully or a victim of bullying, make sure you take the right measures and action to save your child. If not, in all likelihood, they will end up petrified at every stage of their career, and will not be in a position to take any bold decisions.
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