Getting a child to hear you and follow your directions may be hard for many parents. Following directions are only secondary, but making your child hear you, or listening to what you say is more critical!
“Listen to what I say!’ ‘Do you hear me?’ ‘He is not listening to me at all!’ ‘She would look at me only if I shout!’ ‘Oh, they don’t listen!’“
These are some common phrases heard in many homes!
You may have tried just about everything, from explaining, punishing, ignoring, bribing, begging and even yelling! Unfortunately, nothing worked for you. Do you think that you have lost hope of turning your little monster into your little sweetheart?
Listed below are a few promising, proven and even some funny ways to make your child hear you and listen to you.
Listen to your child
Yes, you read it right! Listen to your kid! Don’t be in a hurry when the child talks to you or ignore the little one. When you fail to hear them, they repeat the same. Listening does not just mean hearing what they have to say. Rather, it is about understanding even their gestures and non-verbal communication. Ignoring their expressions or emotions will not help you communicate and connect with child.
Avoid white lies
Yes, parents do lie many times giving false hopes and promises. What is a white lie? If you give a false promise to calm the kids, it is called a white lie! For instance, ‘The mall was closed’, I will take you there tomorrow and buy you a beautiful dress.’ These may appear small, yet the impact they make on the kid could be dangerous. Kids are intelligent and sensitive, and they could trap you as the white lies pile up. You finally end up complaining, ‘The kids are not listening to me’
Connect with the child
Try to make eye contact while speaking to the child. Don’t yell or shout at them from the dining room. Tell them directly, ‘I want you to see me and hear me!’ before you say something.
Isn’t it a good habit to ask someone to hear what you say, when you don’t address them properly? ‘Hey come here, do you hear me, I want you to finish this homework now!’ will not help. Start by calling them with their names or pet names! ‘Darling, will you do me a favor?’
Nobody wants to hear a sermon, including you, and your child isn’t an exemption. When you say something, try to make it brief!
Give them alternatives but include both or all your choices
This is simple. You want your child to change the dress, brush teeth and do homework. You can say, are you going to change the dress or brush teeth? Do you want to do it before or after doing homework? Kids have the choices and you will have all your needs fulfilled.
Pour in positivity
We can use many positive words instead of any negativity! Instead of saying ‘no cricket!’ you can try, ‘we can play something else in the room, and cricket outside!’
One word communication
This is going to be interesting! You can try this when you want your child to do something. Kids do live in their own world (very busy world) and may not hear when you saw a few words. Just try with single word. For instance, ask them to wash the hands before eating, you can say, ‘Hand wash!’ that’s it. Teeth’, soap, water and a lot more.
These few methods will go a long way in making your child hear you and listen to you.